6 Months

I am posting this month's update a bit late (it should be titled "6.5 months") mostly because I haven't sat down at the computer for much time at all lately. In terms of the belly, it has POPPED. I can no longer really see my toes, and forgive my frankness, but doing any sort of shaving of the legs/landscaping is a lesson in acrobatics. My back is increasingly sore, and standing up for long periods of time makes me feel like The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I do notice that my balance is a little off - really this doesn't say much as I'm not exactly known for my grace - and when I get up quickly, sometimes I get tipsy (not drunk people, just looking like it).

Andrew felt her kicking for the first time right before Valentine's day, and spent a good part of the evening with his head on my belly listening to/feeling her move around. The kicks have gotten so pronounced as of late, that you can actually watch my stomach move of its own volition, when she's feeling rowdy. Speaking of rowdy, her most active time seems to be around 11 or so at night - just when I'm thinking about winding down for bed. I'm pretty sure that means we're going to have a party girl on our hands.

I had my gestational diabetes test this month, and everything turned out fine - I don't have any problems in that arena. I haven't had any pregnancy/baby dreams the entire time I've been pregnant, except right before the test, I must have been nervous because I dreamed I gave birth to a very bloated (sign of diabetes) baby boy. And I didn't feel the birth at all, hardly noticed it really. This doesn't make sense on many levels, but my dreams have all been very weird and vivid for the past couple months anyways.

Strangers have started asking me questions, usually when I'm due. Occasionally you get horror stories, and my beef with this is REALLY? You feel the need to scare me even MORE right now? As if becoming a parent isn't scary enough without hearing about how the first two years of your child's life were the worst years of your marriage. AWESOME. PLEASE, I WANT TO HEAR MORE. Why don't you start with the hell of stretch marks? We'll move our way down to the complete carnage of birthing a human.

Yes, I have some anxiety, is it obvious?

The biggest change is that psychologically, I am really excited to meet her. I want to see her, know her personality. Maybe more than anything, I want to stop worrying about things I can't predict and just DEAL with the impending changes already. Not knowing, not being able to plan, is pretty difficult for me. I find myself looking at children more, studying them. Also, I will be none to happy to lose the orca-belly, although I'm nervous about how hard that will be as well.

Andrew and I toured the day care center where she will be while I'm in class this fall. It is for students/faculty/staff of the University, it is brand new, and it was AMAZING. Granted, it should be for the price, but I took it as a good sign that I didn't want to leave it. Also, I was THIS CLOSE to crying when I played with an 8 week old boy in the infant room, and he stopped crying and smiled at me. Turns out I'm not dead inside, and that was the turning point for me I think. I couldn't wait to meet her.

We've had a name picked out for a while, but for whatever reason, middle names have been very difficult for us. We seem to be very picky about middle names - beginning letters, ending sounds, number of syllables, flow, etc. Many things about "prepping" for a baby have been overwhelming to me, so this is another example of how it becomes necessary to nit-pick ourselves to death. Don't even start me on picking a stroller. We've been at it for a month and we STILL have no clue. So if in the future, our daughter reads this dribble, I am very sorry if you don't like your middle name, or your stroller experience has scarred you for life. Chalk it up to beginner's luck.