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Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Calm on Top of the Storm

The past few months, I have been done with school and unemployed, but posting sparsely. And that is a generous statement. How does that make sense? I've got the time, but I checked out. The truth is, that I was having a hard time, and when I'm feeling stress, I tend to kind of clam up and close in. Not down, but in. Everyone was assuring me that I would indeed find a job, not to worry and to enjoy myself. I was busy creating a schedule for myself, working out in the mornings, and looking for jobs during the day. It is a job, to find a job.

The most positive way I can put it is that it has been a trying experience. I learned a lot about rejection, and about how I deal with it. I feel like I have improved, and was starting to realize it would get better and things would work out. I was starting to come to a better place, and things started turning around. I don't know if I 100% believe in The Power of Positive Thinking, but there is something about that notion.

For the past couple weeks, I had a temporary gig working for a consulting company downtown. It was a nice little cash infusion, and a taste of the working schedule in a good environment. I had to be more organized in the mornings, and I called Andrew after my first day just ecstatic to have That Feeling again. The feeling of learning and experiencing and working. Some people are cut out for being at home, but I know myself, and I don't thrive in that situation. I am finally at a place where I am happy with that, and I realize that I am a better mom, a better wife, a better person when I am working, doing that for myself.

And as the old adage goes, it's easier to get a girlfriend when you have a girlfriend. I have had a few interviews lately, and this week I received an offer for a job. I received the call during my run at Memorial Park, and it started pouring down rain in the middle of the phone call. If you can picture me, red-faced and sweaty, huddled under a tree, completely soaked, then you know that, THAT is just completely the way my life would go.

You can't do anything but laugh.

I haven't accepted yet, but I have an overwhelming sense of relief. Other things have come on the radar now, and I'm anxious to see how the next couple weeks pan out. Thankfully, the company extended the decision term on my offer, so I have a short period of time to explore another option. I am very grateful to have this option at this time.

The absolutely amazing part is that by starting a job, we can FINALLY begin the process of building our house. Three months ago we bought a lot so we could build our [scaled down] dream house. That project was on hold until one of two things happened: I got a job, or we won the lottery. Equal chances it seemed at some points in time. Andrew and I have spent an embarrassing amount of time musing over the right backsplash tile configuration. We are both detail people, with different tastes (him = ultra modern, almost asian inspired. me = modern boho), and I know this process is going to try us on a whole different level. We did all the layouts ourselves, discussing how we use a space, how it would look, what impression it would make, where the Feng Shui was, blah blah blah ad nauseum. I can't wait.

Lilly is starting at her new school next week which is tugging at my heart strings a little (or a lot). She is going to have to make new friends, and be with new teachers and that really primal Mom side of me is scared for her and fiercely protective. I know she will be a rockstar, she is one of the most independent kids I know, I just want that transition to go as smoothly as possible. I wish I could really explain it to her, but I think we're a few months out from that two-sided conversation.

Although she totally said "STOP" the other day to her Daddy. Right after he told HER to stop. It's high time we drop a few choice words from our vocabulary.

1 comment:

Kristi English said...

Congrats on the job offer, so glad to hear that! We need to catch up so you can tell me more about it. Bryce's new nanny starts next week too, so I am right there with you on the wishfulness of a smooth transition. love ya!