Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Projectless and Twitching
The house is mostly done, and I'm going through the period post-project that always happens to me after something big (to me) is complete. I am fidgety and in a bit of a funk. I don't know what to do with myself, with all this "extra" energy and it drives me slightly mad. I have been through this enough to where I should anticipate it, but sadly I never do, and then BAM! Like a brick wall.
This is something I recognize in myself that I want to work on. I would like to be ok with "projectless" time. Not even just ok, I want to enjoy it, revel in it even. I'm pretty sure this sounds ridiculous to most, but that isn't inherently wired in my brain. From the time I met Andrew, my life has consisted of large-to-me life projects. I was studying for the GMAT, then buying my first house, then engagement, then wedding, then grad school with a pregnancy/baby rolled together, then finding a job, and finally the house project. I'm tired just typing that sentence.
I can't ignore that people, well-meaning people are nudging me saying "want another?" As in, when will you pop out another child, Woman, the clock is ticking. I get that, but right now, I think our little family needs a break from projects. And yes, pregnancy is a project, pretty much the mother of all projects (bad pun).
We have put together a mandate that for one year, we will be projectless. This is a huge undertaking for me. How to not go crazy just enjoying life, smelling the roses and this amazing opportunity I have been given. Sure, there are little projects (i.e. potty training the Wee One who is starting to take the whole QLP label literally and sniffs her noses at princesses, she deserves to be QUEEN damnit, but I digress) on the horizon, but no major life changing events please. Although you could argue that not being responsible for wiping someone else's butt everyday is indeed life-changing.
Just writing that, I tend to wonder if I've just jinxed myself for the unexpected. Please Universe, have mercy on me here.
But, BUT. In saying that, we have managed to slip in a secret project. Project Get a Hold of Our Health Issues. We're getting old it turns out and it's time to face the facts, things take longer. Like losing weight. And we both refuse to start another project until that is under control. Our bodies deserve that much.
The house is done and near the gym, so this week I began going to the gym before work, in the wee hours of the morning. Andrew and I had an elaborate plan where I would ride the bike to the gym, workout and get showered/dressed, leave the bike chained up at the gym and walk to my office while Andrew took the little one to school and went to work. Then in the evening, I would pick her up by car, and Andrew would walk to the gym from work, workout, and ride the bike home. That way we still only use one car and we each get in some bike time.
Day One: Marysia has great morning workout, Andrew gets to the gym to find the bike has been stolen.
Nothing tests dedication like some bumps in the road.
Posted by I'm Marysia at 7:00 PM